In the spirit of the season,we asked medical students their opinions about being in romantic consolidations with their colleagues. Here are some of their thoughts:
Actually, no. That’s my current opinion. I put them into two categories, we have the ones in our class and the ones not in our class. For people in our class, I feel it’s weird especially if you have a falling out before you graduate, you have to see them every day and that’s very awkward. I wouldn’t want to put myself in such position. For the people in other group, I feel like, we won’t have similar schedules and also because, I do not want my life to revolve only around Medicine. Please, do not get me wrong. I do not find them weird or anything. There are a lot of interesting people in the department. I just want to avoid that awkwardness and it’s refreshing, to step out of the MBBS community and be with someone from another field of study and you can learn more and be exposed to more stuff that way.
So, do you have a department that you prefer?
Actually, no. I don’t prefer any department. Just be smart, not in my department and be fine. That’s actually all. It’s not that deep.
You guys are too bookish. Like whyyy? Fine, I’m not much of a book type but if she has the right vibe, why not?
So, your main reason is because they are “too bookish”
No, no, no. If they’re too bookish, then, no.
Okay, so, what’s your preference? Juniors, Classmates or Seniors and why?
I think I’m scared to date seniors. This is because I see them as older individuals. So, if the classmate is older, I might not and if the supposed person is younger and a classmate, I’m cool with it.
And you don’t feel like you could get distracted, if your girlfriend is in your class?
Why should I be distracted? I don’t think I’ll be distracted, apart from the fact that I’d be looking at her most of the time.
Some other people fear that when there’s a breakup, it will get weird because you guys would be classmates till your final year.
Well, one of the reasons I’m probably still single apart from the fact that I’m broke, is the break-up thing. I don’t know, I just probably hate breakups.
So, you feel, you will be the one to break her heart, what if it’s the other way around?
Left to me, even if we break up, we can still be good friends, but ladies can be funny. She will most likely start avoiding me.
So, what about juniors?
Okay, if it’s a junior, we wouldn’t get to see in class and the level of awkwardness would be low.
Why would she be avoiding you?
That’s because that’s what ladies do.
So, if she’s a junior, would she be avoiding you?
Okay, let me make one thing clear. When we start dating, there won’t be a “senior or junior” situation. So, it doesn’t really matter, even if she’s your classmate, she’ll still start avoiding you, that’s what they do, unfortunately.
Yes, because it is easier. You’re not always going to be there, compared to other departments. You’re going to have certain commitments especially when we move to UCH and if you’re dating somebody in UI, there will be the issue of time constraint and it requires a lot of commitment. This doesn’t mean dating a medical student does not require commitment but the person in your field will understand, compared to the person outside it.
So, what’s your preference? Seniors, classmates or juniors?
Junior is a no-no. Classmate? No. Senior, please.
Why don’t you want a classmate?
I don’t know, It’s just not my thing. Plus, I can’t be coming to class and be seeing you every day, it’ll scar the relationship.
You don’t think you and the senior would be distant due to workload and difference in timetables?
No. There are people in it, and they look happy. See, you will obviously have the same school timetable with your mates, but I guess it is more about putting effort into making the relationship work.
Yes, why not? It’s easier that way. They are humans too, you know.
You said it’s easier that way. Why?
Both of you are going through the same stuff, you get my point, yeah? We come from the same class. We don’t have to sit together. You know when each person has class. Your times are in sync. It’s like secondary school again.
Would you prefer your classmate, a junior or senior?
A senior? Probably not. It’ll be fun, but it’ll probably just grow old later. Classmate? Yeah, it’s okay. Junior? A big NO. It just sounds and feels difficult. It’ll feel more like trying to teach someone. Let’s say you’re in 600 level and she’s probably in 400 level and you’ve seen more evil. Most times it’ll seem like you’re trying to bring her up to speed on things. It’ll be more of teachable moments than actual moments, if you know what I mean.
Do you think you’ll get distracted if you’re dating your classmate.
I strongly doubt it. I believe we’re both grown enough to know what’s important. It’d be kinda stupid to allow distraction from studies and stuff.
I can date a medical student as long as we set our priorities right.
Okay, studies and as long as our relationship does not get in the way of our academics, then we are good to go.
So, would you prefer a senior, your classmate or a junior?
I think I’d prefer a junior
Well, there’s this thing about someone that you’re seeing all the time, you know. It’s just somehow to me. Let’s say, for example, during ward round when lecturers are shouting at you, she’ll be there, she’ll see your flaws and all those things but juniors, irrespective of age, tend to place you in high regard, compared to your classmate. Although, if the person is someone in my class, no problem but I think I would prefer a junior.
You don’t prefer seniors?
I don’t like that, but if the person is humble. Nah, I just don’t like it. It’s not that I have an inferiority mindset or complex, but it is not my thing.
It is just a preference, yeah?
Yeah. I think I’d prefer a junior or worse still, a classmate. But that senior? I’ve never imagined it.
Okay, I think it has its pros and cons. For instance, if we’re both medical doctors, it’s more like we’re doing the same thing, so it’s like we’re more aligned in purpose. Then, I feel like we would understand ourselves better. That’s for that and if I’m considering someone who is not a medical doctor, I might be feeling like since I’m a medical doctor, it’s possible that I’d be busier, maybe that person would be more available than me. But, mainly sha, it will always be God’s will for me.
But God would start from the premise of classmates, while you’re still in medical school before you find someone that you can marry later. Would you pick up on that opportunity or are you just going to say, “oh, because I’m in the same class, this cannot happen.”? It’s not like you guys are already working. You’re still in school but you’re committed to this person.
Okay, yeah, I think it would actually be good for us to grow together, but I would consider that only if God is leading me into the relationship.
Are you thinking of the cons of being in the same class or seeing the person everyday and do you also think it’s a right, logical choice for you to make?
I don’t think I’d actually be distracted because I think, going into a relationship, you should enter it as friends. It should stem from friendship, because if you’re going to be married, you’re supposed to be friends in marriage, you’re supposed to help each other. It’s not just to have fun or…, I hope you get what I’m saying. So, I think it would be good that we should be friends and if we’re starting from when we’re still students in school, it’ll give us a longer time to build our friendship and know each other.
Would you prefer a classmate to a senior or junior?
Oh God, I don’t know. I’m not sure of that but of course, not a junior.
Why not juniors?
Normally, I would not prefer juniors. The main thing is that I understand I’m here on a purpose and I’m here because God wants me to be here. So, my decisions would always be based on God’s will even though I don’t prefer juniors normally. It might be like I’m on a higher level than the person but that is based on my own human understanding, but I know that if God is leading me into a relationship with a junior, then that’s the best for me, because God has my best interests at heart.
Actually, it depends on a lot of factors. There are pros and cons. The pros – we’re doing the same course, so we both understand our schedules and there is no need for me to put much effort into explaining my schedule but for a non-medical student, they can’t understand my point of view, like, I have to read and I’m always busy, but for a medical student, they’ll understand because they won’t even have that kind of time for me. So, there would have already been a mutual understanding.
What are the cons?
Well, I don’t like people that are like me, that’s the thing. I need variety in my life. I’m doing medicine; you’re doing medicine. What would we now be talking about? There’s no variety in our conversations.
You’ll both have hobbies.
True but as I am now in medical school, I’m not sure, if I have many hobbies except art. So, what do I want to tell you again? Basically, I like variety. I can’t be doing medicine and you’re doing medicine. Majority of our conversations would revolve around school. If we’re now in the same class again, that’s the end! Our lives would just be boring.
So, would it be a senior or junior?
I prefer older ladies, because they have a wealth of experience that I’d like to tap from, as per, I’m an old soul, I’m not interested in things that most people my age are interested in. So, I’d like someone that has the same interest as me. So, either, it’s an old soul that is my age or an actual older person. No juniors, please, no.
So, in conclusion, you won’t mind dating a medical student depending on the person?
Yes, depending on the person. If the person has a wealth of experience and hobbies, I’d like that but if you’re just a normal boring medical student, I don’t want to do. I don’t like stress in my life.
Hmmm. I’m really not stereotypical when it comes to relationships, no one plans to get hit by a cupid’s arrow. What matters most is understanding in or outside medicine. Although, having someone not going through this amount of stress as well might be soothing. Anyway, as long as there’s understanding, things can definitely work out, even outside medicine.
Senior, junior or classmate?
You have someone already?
No, I don’t but I might go for a classmate or junior but definitely not a senior, except she’s going to be my sugar mummy.
Do you think your classmate is going to distract you?
If you guys break up, would it be weird?
It won’t be for me.
What of on her side?
Well, I don’t know. It depends on reason(s) for the breakup. Let’s say, the breakup was on good terms with understandable reasons. When you guys see each other, I don’t think you should feel awkward or avoid each other. You should still be friends but when it’s abrupt, then things get complicated and awkward. That might distract both of you and if the breakup is on good terms, though break-ups are never on good terms but there are still better terms. But I don’t think a classmate can distract me.
We want to be like you.
There is time for everything. Even in cases of heartbreaks, when you have to think about it and then maybe be sad and have a moment but when it’s time to read and you have to call yourself back. You need to learn how to do it. Crypto is a good teacher for that.
—watch out for part 2!