Medical Students are often stereotyped as nerds who love dissecting living things, but they are much more than that. Medical school boasts of a wide variety of personalities that makes the 6+ years bearable and sometimes entertaining.
So whether you are in your final year or just beginning medical school, chances are you have met the following students either in your class, another set or you are just them (either in entirety or in small weird mixtures).
So people, get ready to discover who you are (as a medical student) in this clichéd, overwritten, mildly amusing article:
1. The Overachievers
They are the multi-talented and versatile. They have married medicine but are also in a relationship with another passion(s). They are the researchers, actors, professional models, singers, the dancers, the writers, the photographers and so on. Not only do they have multiple loves, they are good at what they do. They just make the rest of us go into that deep self-reflection, about our lives and assault your self-esteem.
As the name suggests, they laugh at everything, embarrassing themselves and everyone else. For example:
Vaginal discharge Hehehe
Testicular cancer Hehehe
Anatomy of the head Hehehe
This sub type has the tendency to ask silly questions due to which they are frequently ignored or insulted by the professors and their peers.
3. The Genius
Top of the class and happy to help. They seem to know everything and in such detail that you can not help but think that they have 2 heads.
4. The Book worms
These species constitute the all work and no play and the exact opposite of the I cant be stressed category. They have no functional social media accounts, do not attend parties and the only best friends they possess is their ever faithful Hutchinsons. They live in the reading rooms and breathe medicine. May or may not be in the genius category.
5. The Political Ones
These ones love to be in any ‘public office’ of the school. If they are not pitching to you on how they can make the class or association better if you vote them, they are usually just talking about how good the work they have been doing for the school or group or going for one political or leadership seminar or the other.
6. The Enthusiast
Ever since their intrauterine life, they have always wanted to study medicine. Everything about medical school overly excites them and sends happy tingles down their spines. They can be seen saying:
‘Wow, I touched a catheter today!’
OMG, I just watched the reg set an IV line’.
7. The ‘Money must be made’ ones
Can do anything to get that paper, they have been said to give off an unsettling Kanayo O. Kanayo vibe. They are usually seen complaining and competing with each other about how broke they are whilst, wearing expensive shoes and clothes.
8. The Entrepreneur
They sell anything and everything that the medical student needs. From the pen torch to neck ties to make up. They are the ones that got your back (for the right amount of course) if a consultant sends you out for not having your pen torch, ties and even socks. All those can be purchased right then from your stupreneur.
9. The Gunner/The Malicious
The word gunner here is set to describe a student who tries to advance himself at the expense of others. Simply put, a medical student that would do anything to obtain recognition and praise from his/her superiors and does not care about compromising whatever little peer relationship they have as long as they gain. They may study hard and everything but do not fail to rub it in your face. They are the ones who look up the case diagnosis and vitals of all patients in the ward and when you cannot remember your patient’s own during a consultant presentation, he/ she would say them aloud and even answer the questions posed for you.
They are the ones that refuse to go home when the residents dismiss everyone and asks to do menial tasks. Also goes out of their way to lie and sabotage others just so they can get ahead. Most likely to lie about the time of a ward round, hoard past questions, and time of tests. Everyone loathes this guy, even the guy.
10. The Omnipresent
This guy basically belongs to almost all the groups in the school from a senator to a member of the year book committee to female affairs member to medic musical society, to the halls sport executive, to press. Literally everywhere you turn.
11. The Sycophant
They are a sub set of the gunner. However, on examination, their lips appear highly fecal from all that ass kissing. Goes out of their way and your way to get everyone in trouble by doing the most that is not required of them. They are the ones that reminds the lecturer about long forgotten assignments, signs everything and even rules line on top, laughs the loudest at every consultant ‘jokes’. Even with all their demonstration, they are still not close to the top scorers table, I mean…
12. The Pretenders
As deadly as the gunner. The liar is apparently not always prepared for a test but never fails to backhand you in the face with their perfect scores. Seriously, what do you hope to gain!
13. The Sweet boys
They are the heartthrobs of medical school and can get away with almost anything. They have the looks, the money, the cool gadgets, the sweet rides and incredibly popular.
14. The Fashionista/Modella/Slay Queen
They have the nicest outfits to wear. Whilst they look like they just stepped out of a Vogue Magazine, you look like you literally rolled out of bed.
Anatomy Practical: Expensive designer boots with matching expensive designer jeans with an equally expensive crop top.
Going through their social media photos would definitely chip away your confidence.
15. The Mourners/ Complainers
If there is anything to complain about and even if there isn’t, chances are they are already complaining about it.
Their complaint often ranges from the stress of medical school to burdens of a blue sky. They never relent in spreading anxiety to everyone around them.
Caption: When finally settled to study medicine.
16. The “Cannot be stressed” ones
Literally can not be bothered by the hassels of med school. Possess the easy going demeanor to everything. While the class is anxious and rushing to cram the few things before exam, they watch their movies, eat and sleep.
In the midst of the storm of medicine, can be found watching a movie or sleeping. Makes just the minimum required for attendances to write exams. Knows how to have fun but still does well in school.
17. The Creepy Ones
You cannot explain it, whenever they are around, you break into sweats and your mind just tells you to run has fast as you can.
18. The Missing ones
You only see this species during exams and tests, rarely sighted at regular school. Often raises questioning eyebrows, and his most frequently asked question is: Are you in our set?
19. The Event Organizers
The life of the party and resident “Turn up Kings/Queens”, “Club Hopper Aye” and academics are still a 100 percent all together.
20. The Risk Takers
Perpetual late comer but no one notices.
Faffer but never gets caught.
Basically, a medical student that lives on the edge.
BY AMARACHI DIALA